News Links
Business News
General News
Good Macro
NEW ELEMENT FOUND!
A major research institution
recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science.
The new element has been
named "Governmentium."
Governmentium (Gv) has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons -
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held
together by forces called
'morons' which are surrounded
by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called 'peons.'
Since Gv has no electrons, it is
inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes
every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A minute
amount of Gv causes one
reaction to take over four days
to complete, when it would
normally take less than a
second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4
years; it does not decay; but
instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange
places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass
will actually increase over
time, since each
reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons,
forming 'isodopes.' This
characteristic of moron
promotion leads most scientists
to believe that Gv is formed
whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in
concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred
to as 'Critical Morass.'
When catalyzed with money,
Gv becomes "Administratium'
(Am) - an element which
radiates just as much energy as
Gv, since it has half as many
peons but twice as many
morons.
A major research institution
recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science.
The new element has been
named "Governmentium."
Governmentium (Gv) has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons -
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held
together by forces called
'morons' which are surrounded
by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called 'peons.'
Since Gv has no electrons, it is
inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes
every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A minute
amount of Gv causes one
reaction to take over four days
to complete, when it would
normally take less than a
second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4
years; it does not decay; but
instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons
and deputy neutrons exchange
places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass
will actually increase over
time, since each
reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons,
forming 'isodopes.' This
characteristic of moron
promotion leads most scientists
to believe that Gv is formed
whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in
concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred
to as 'Critical Morass.'
When catalyzed with money,
Gv becomes "Administratium'
(Am) - an element which
radiates just as much energy as
Gv, since it has half as many
peons but twice as many
morons.
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |